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Freedom, heart, Relationships

Relationship: Entitlements and Expectations

I’ve recently attended a webinar given by Toby and Ivonne Alexander about the 7 Catastrophic Mistakes Men and Women Make in Relationships and I’ve got to say, I learned very much in such a short amount of time. I’ve immediately applied what I’ve learned into my life and my reality is quickly shifting into more harmony just by doing a few simple changes. Some of the most important topics that struck a revelation in me was regarding Entitlements and Expectations. It struck me so deep that I felt inspired to share this.

Entitlements

I know this may sound like”Yup, I knew that” or “Uh huh”and that is fine if you feel that way. But in my perspective, this is so important. If you keep having entitlements and expectations, you’re just setting yourself up for more arguments. So the first mistake is entitlements. Many women usually feel they are entitled to “getting things” from their partner or needing him to buy her things to make her happy; I won’t lie, I’ve been through that phase in my life ha ha. And women place this entitlement almost automatically after entering a relationship and this is a HUGE no-no. The worst part is men fall into this too and then it becomes “buying” her love. And if he doesn’t buy her the most expensive things or spend money on her when she dictates so (or when she expects him to), then “he isn’t showing her that he loves her”, etc. As ridiculous as this is, this program has been playing for far too long and both the men and women are absolutely tired of this gameplay, right? And it doesn’t mean that he should rely on the lady to buy HIM stuff either.

And there’s more. Women feel that the man SHOULD be with her 24/7 (you know, like being too “frigid”). Let me tell you, I honestly cannot stand being with someone 24/7; even if that person is my partner. Everyone needs their own personal space, and it’s just a natural part of being. We all require a natural ebb and flow. A natural “togetherness” and a natural “apart-ness”, otherwise, there really is no natural detachment or a healthy attachment; or bonding.

Expectations

Enter “goddess girlfriend”, being out of congruency and manipulative, she places unreal expectations on the man, and the entitlement to being treated like a goddess, that he SHOULD treat her that way by coming up with some logical reason to. NO. The guy already has been growing up with tons of pressure of expectations and entitlements placed on him since he was younger by parents, other siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, bosses, teachers, etc. and voices from the past: “Why can’t you do better? You should be doing better. You should get a better job. You should earn more. You should work harder. You should buy her this. You should get a better outfit. You should have done this instead. You need to get a better score. You should say yes to me because I’m with you. You should be this way because I like you better this way. You should work out. You should cut your hair. You should this/that. Etc.” I learned that as a woman, and speaking TO OTHER women, we MUST STOP these expectations and entitlements placed unto men and giving up OUR confidence to make an outside source responsible for our happiness. Happiness and Joy come from within. If you’re constantly living day to day expecting things to be a certain way from how it really is, you’re literally causing yourself stress and being out of reality. Very simple effect.

Image (c) Jennifer Lee

credit: notsalmon.com

When a person is able to wake up, and not have any kinds of expectations of how another person should be, then the person is able to let go of anxiousness, apprehension, and worry. The person is able to live life in the present moment without trying to throw ropes around another person and straggling them to please themselves. When a person is living without any entitlements, then everything a person experiences, becomes a gift of a greater magnitude and is a much more satisfying surprise to receive. It’s not strictly about partners, but the relationship a person has with everyone else too.

It’s such a relief to let go of these patterns and live from the heart. You’ll finally be able to grow together consciously and TRUST one another. Don’t forget to love them every opportunity you have; partner or not! Give it a try and don’t be afraid to stick to it~!

There is so much more and this is just a pungent slice. Have YOU had any of these expectations and entitlements in your relationships? If not, what kinds of relationship mistakes have you made (or are  still making =x yikes)? Let me know down below!

Much love and the best to you all!
Quote from brainyquote.com

References:

Toby Alexander:
dnaperfection.com

Ivonne Delaflor-Alexander:
http://www.ivonnedelaflor.com/aboutus.html
http://www.higherschoolforconsciousevolution.com/aboutus.html

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About Jen Lee

I speak for those that have felt alone, felt lost, the pain, and darkness; the truth is, you are always taken care of, and this is where I share with you MY experiences of this. I also offer energetic healing sessions to help you move past the highest priority issues you are going through. Follow my ig @heartintention and @heart.jenlee for insights and to schedule a session.

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